Where do you draw the line between having fun and being inappropriate online? Is it different online than offline?

[Phil Macoun]

I've just finished having a very interesting and also frustrating conversation with some of you folks from Australia. | was about to go to bed over here in Canada when I accidentally stumbled across the Ning chat room and realized that there was a very active chat going on at that moment. From my perspective (as someone who did not know the people chatting) it looked like a bunch of students writing hello to each other in a number of different ways, except that occasionally there were comments that were from my perspective quite rude and abusive. So I decided to join the chat and was immediately frustrated to see how stuffy and judgmental I sounded. I was hammering away at my keyboard trying to figure out how to put in writing what I could do in seconds in person, and hoping I wouldn't alienate you all in the process. While I was writing, the comment that I got most in reply was the Australian equivalent of 'we were just joking around'. So I thought I would start this discussion and see if anyone was interested in continuing this conversation. Digital Etiquette members? Anyone?

[Nikki]

hey my name is Nikki and I am a student at Wedderburn College, although I was not in the conversation, from what I have heard it was a fairly big deal, my class mates may have taken it a bit far, but I'm sure they were just having a bit of fun, and then needing the teachers to draw the line. We wont take the privillage of chat to an advantage next time. Catchya : )

[k!r$tY]

Hi i am Kirsty, a student from Wedderburn College, i was not in the conversation while the whole thing was going on, until i got told about it and went and had a look at it. to me it sounded that at the start it was funny but then they just took it too far, but i also thought the teachers needed to see it in our eyes, and notice that none of us were taking it seriously. I understand that people shouldnt have been saying that type of stuff on a PUPLIC chat. i was only trying to say that we were all mucking around, i was not having a go at you mr Phil

[Stacey]

Hi Mr. Macoun
My name is Stacey and I am from Wedderburn College. I was on chat at the time and things did go a bit too far.
Like Emily said, I think everyone will learn from their mistakes.
I'm sure it will never go that far again
I will be more careful about the things that I say.
Stacey : )
P.S... Thanks for starting the discussion. It is very interesting to see what other people think

[Laura]

Hi Mr Macoun,
My name is Laura, from Wedderburn College, Australia. i was on chat at the time but was not apart of the innappropriate conversassion. I agree with what nearly everyone has been saying about this happening.
i think that it is true that some people do take it to far and were going over the top about things, i guess the fact that we are not talking face to face with other means that we cannot see the expressions people are trying to give.
this may be a reason?
laura

[zoe]

Hi all,
I'm Zoe, an teachers aide at Wedderburn College. I am 28. This is an interesting discussion. When I was at school we didnt use the internet, didnt have email or access to chat and all that kind of stuff. So even though I have really only used the internet since being an adult (and feel like I have etiquitte, manners and responsibility down pat), I still have alot to learn about digital etiquette. Because you are sitting in front of a computer on your own communicating with people you know, it is easy to forget that others can also read your comments. And I can also see that sometimes some people may not understand the boundries required or may not agree with them. Communicating via the internet is still reletively new to humans, and we have a lot to learn. I think its great that these discussions are available and that students have the opportunity to explore these issues in a hands on way.
Zoe

[Paige]

Hello Mr Macoun.
I'm Paige from Wedderburn College.
I was on chat, at the time when things got a little out-of-hand.
We were just having a little fun, at first, a few minutes later, everything was taken a little far.
Saying something like that to another person is fine, but NOT across the internet...You cant see their body language, or hear their tone of voice...I thought this question was very inapporite, across the internet.
I am really sorry, for the inncident that occoured, and I will always think before I type, from now on.
Thank-you, for starting this discussion, and I am really interested in what other students and teachers have to contribute.
PaiGe

[Sharna]

Hey there: Mr Macoun
i am in the coversation group and what your saying is understandable. As some of the others where talking i was onlooking and laughing. i will admit it. But now that i understand that it most unlikely that it was funny to the two main people in volved, one in which was not on at the time. Hearing about it from some one else wouldnt have been easy. If you dont know where to draw a line in an conversation then you shouldnt start it.
As your talking to someone over he internet your letters that have been written can be interpritated anyway that person choses too.
At the start the conversation was very unharmless and just a joke. you were able to hear people laughing in the next room. But as it progressed it was getting a bit too serious. When you entered and added to the coversation i belive that people took it the wrong way. It is hard to say your oppinion over the internet without being harmful. People have learnt from that and i am pritty sure that it wont happen again.

[Phil Macoun]

Hi everyone,

I have to admit when I started this discussion I never dreamed that I would get so many honest and well thought out answers. I want to thank you all for taking this topic seriously and reflecting so carefully.

I want to reply to something that Sharna said about my comments being taken the wrong way. This has been my frustration with this form of communication all along. I teach students your own age and this kind of thing has happened in my class as well. The difference is that in a face to face situation it is easy for me to communicate to my students that I am not judging them, but that I just want to help them learn from their mistakes - I am a teacher after all :-). In this case that was impossible to do in the chat.

This discussion thread however has been a very educational experience for me. You are all having a very rich discussion about a topic that baffles many adults and you are doing it online. I think that in some cases it might also be easier for some of you to be a part of this conversation online than in a class conversation, which means we get more participation and a greater diversity of views. What do you think?

[Anne Baird]

I think you are right Phil. For some students it is easier to reply online. It does allow those quieter students to have a say. Although looking at the range of students from our school,I think its about 50/50 with some students who are more active in a class discussions and some students who are normally quieter.
I hope I speak for Jess (Miss Higgins) and Zoe (our teacher aide) in saying that I am really proud of the way our students have embraced this and thought deeply about the whole topic of online etiquette. Isn't it great that we can use such a powerful tool (this forum) to discuss such a powerful and important topic.

[Phil Macoun]

I agree Anne. I have been very impressed by your student's replies in this discussion thread. With your permission (and the permission of your students) I would like to share this discussion with our parent community next week as part of a presentation I am giving on digital literacy.

[Anne Baird]

I haven't had a chance to check with our students Phil. But my feeling is that they would be happy for you to refer to their ideas and thoughts with your parents group. I will check with them tomorrow.

[NicholasM_tigs]

I believe that talking and chatting online can be fun, but it's not the same as talking face to face. As you mentioned, people said they were "just joking around" and I believe that's true to a certain extent. When you’re joking about someone face to face, you can use body language or tone to take the sting out of a joke directed at someone, so that they understand you’re joking, which of course you can't do online. As to knowing the difference between having fun and being rude or inappropriate online, is really up to several factors. An inappropriate joke, for example, towards a friend or family member can be taken differently than to someone you have never met. Because you have a strong relationship with the person, they would probably know that your joking or not, or the comment could be a personal joke, and could only be understood by the recipient of the comment. But I believe that the main difference between joking and being rude is when yourself as the writer may feel guilt for what you have said, or the person responds in an equally insulting message. If the recipient of your message is insulted, and responds rudely, than you should know that you’re being rude. If someone cannot differentiate between rudeness and having fun than that person should not be talking to other people.