Where do you draw the line between having fun and being inappropriate online? Is it different online than offline?

[Phil Macoun]

I've just finished having a very interesting and also frustrating conversation with some of you folks from Australia. | was about to go to bed over here in Canada when I accidentally stumbled across the Ning chat room and realized that there was a very active chat going on at that moment. From my perspective (as someone who did not know the people chatting) it looked like a bunch of students writing hello to each other in a number of different ways, except that occasionally there were comments that were from my perspective quite rude and abusive. So I decided to join the chat and was immediately frustrated to see how stuffy and judgmental I sounded. I was hammering away at my keyboard trying to figure out how to put in writing what I could do in seconds in person, and hoping I wouldn't alienate you all in the process. While I was writing, the comment that I got most in reply was the Australian equivalent of 'we were just joking around'. So I thought I would start this discussion and see if anyone was interested in continuing this conversation. Digital Etiquette members? Anyone?

[Emily]

Hi Mr Macoun. Im Emily. I am a student at Wedderburn College, the school who you joined in on the online chat with. I guess its true that some people take some things a bit too far, like in that chat. We were all having fun, until it did get a bit too serious. I guess some of us really don' t know what the difference is between having fun and being innappropriate. There is a right time and place for everything, and that just wasnt the time OR place for that conversation. How silly can we be?? Talking about things online that every Digiteen member can see. However we all learn from our mistakes, and I'm not saying its ok to do that sort of thing on this type of chat, but I think everyone involved would have learnt from their mistakes. Im sure we ALL know not to do that kind of thing again. I was on the chat at the time, but from now on I will DEFINITELY be more careful about what I say on chat. Personally, I think its ok to speak to eachother like that on a private chat, (MSN, or face to face) but not on public chat.
Thanks for starting this interesting discussion. I would also like to see what others think about it.
Emily :)

[Dhabyah]

Hey;;
I'm Dhabyah from Qatar..
And I'm in Digital Etiquette..
I think that the line is drawn when its the kind of fun you wouldn't want your parents to see, or watch.. That goes for all public profiles and social networking sites and chats. If people can identify you, nobody would say something like that *e.g when you wouldn't say it to someones face, or in a street, you shouldn't say it online, in public* Anyone can access anything online, no matter how secure the privacy. You just need the right tools. What i'm trying to say is that having fun should be on facebook, not on Digiteen- Where its a website for ***Digital Citizenship for Teenagers***. Sure, you can socialize, appropriately.
What I'm saying is that the question isn't when you draw the line, its where you choose to act upon the boundaries of that line, of having fun and being inappropriate.

Thanks for this,
It would do tons for my research!

P.S Emily.. i agree with you =D

[Jacqueline]

at the time i wasn't involved until you added your idea of us to stop and talk about it somewhere else.
sorry if i was rude but all i meant was 'everyone chill.' stop talking. that sorta thing.
and yeah i think he shouldn't asked her that and the other people involved shouldn't of been so mean to him he clearly had feelings for her. and then it get chucked in his face.
yes it went to far. he should have done that in private where no one could judge him
the ning is for learning. not asking out girls.

thanks for bringing it up. it was good of you to try and help out.

[Phil Macoun]

Hi everyone, thanks for your thoughtful responses. I wanted to continue this conversation here not because I think I have the 'right answer' or think you might all 'learn something' but because I am genuinely interested in this discussion. I was never 'taught' how to act online or what was the difference between appropriate and inappropriate online behaviour when I was a kid because we didn't have the kind of access you all do to the internet.

I am interested in the point that Dhabyah raised about the difference between how you act in a public online setting and a private one like Facebook etc. Forgetting for a minute about the fact that Facebook isn't actually as private as a lot of people think, I wonder whether it should really matter whether the social networking tool that you are using is private or not. In particular I worry about the danger of typing things for 'fun' that could be misunderstood by someone later on. I know that I have been guilty of sending off emails to quickly that were misunderstood and then I had to spend a long time fixing the relationships that I had messed up because I hadn't been thinking enough about how someone else might interpret my words.

Sorry for the jumbled thoughts. It's early morning over here and I haven't had my morning coffee yet.

[Jess Higgins]

I often think the same thing Phil. I was involved as a late digiteen outsider (not online but in the classroom) at the time of the discussion. Some irresponsibility with some students discussions have now created a learning tool for us. Anne and I immediately had a discussion with the class aswell as enforcing safety without rude comments. Hopefully this wont occur again.
I think that Emily said exactly what I was thinking at the time. The only thing I'd add is that you are all lucky that it was only on the digiteen ning and not on some other chat room where 'Who Knows' is out there.
Isn't our topic all about being responsible and being safe on the internet? Let's start showing it!
Miss H

[Anne Baird]

I agree with Jess, my colleague at Wedderburn. We never know who is really out there. As Mr Macoun also said we often think that things are private on the internet when in reality they aren't. This is what this project is all about. Being able to learn more about what is real and what isn't on the internet so that when we are working online we are informed and safe. At the time our students wrote some inappropriate things and when Mr Macoun joined the chat, I was pretty disappointed that it was necessary for him to let our students know that their conversations were inappropriate. But now I have had some time to think, I'm sort of glad that it happened because it has opened up a whole new conversation about the way we should behave on the internet. It should help us all make better judgments in the future.

[Maddi]

Hello Mr Macoun,
I am Maddi. I go to Wedderburn College and was in the class during the chat. I am truly sorry for the affect our behaviour had on you. In a way I feel this is a great way for us to learn though. What started out to be friendly chat started to get silly and then rude, I feel you did a great thing by sharing how you felt because it was a real wake up call for some of the class and made us think about our behaviour annd the affect it can have to people from different countries and schools.
I feel that students all want to be noticed on the internet and so they all go out of their way to get more attention than everyone else, even though this could mean being someone they're not or doing something they shouldn't. I find that online chatting in class rooms is very strange because everyone is typing hello when they are in thy same room. I know I am guilty of this and as Emily mentioned we learn from our mistakes. I think that the chat really is a privilge but I don't know why? Why is it that students my age get such a 'buzz' from typing random, pointless, and in this case rude comments?
I am in the digital etiquette group and I will certaintly note some of the points you and fellow digital citizens have brought up. Thank you for starting this discussion and I hope for not only your sake but for the digital citizens sake that this doesn't happen again.
Thank you again,
Maddi

[Phil Macoun]

Hi Maddi, thanks for your thoughtful response. I too am a little baffled by the impulse people (teenagers AND adults) feel to use chat rooms for meaningless babble. It happens all the time in my classes when chatting is an option even though I am quite strict about the chat room being for productive work only.

I think you are right about the internet being an easy way to get attention, and I think it is also a place where it is easy to do and say things you wouldn't normally because there is no-one in front of you giving you visual clues about the effect that your words and actions are having. It's a little like really a mild person who would normally not hurt a fly getting into a car and driving like a crazy person because they feel shut off from the outside world and the consequences of their actions.

And please don't feel sorry on my account. Even though the chat your class had was a little unfortunate the learning and reflection you have been doing is priceless.

[AzzA]

Hey my name is Aaron and i was the main source of the chat incident.
I really dont see y use made a big deal of it.

cya

[Jess Higgins]

Hi Aaron,
Glad you joined the chat! As teachers we are continually fighting bullying problems, mobile phones, silly comments and sometimes physical threats toward students. As seen last year when studying the cybernetrix unit we saw a short film about how one comment lead into a huge bullying problem toward a student. Often this can be hidden from parents and teachers although it can continue until a child may do harm to themselves or others. It is good that such a discussion has not occured. A discussion has been started though. It is productive, appropriate, relevant to all digiteeners right now, helpful for your work as Maddi mentioned and most importantly safe.
I hope you understand that we made a big deal because it is a big deal.
Miss H

[AzzA]

kool thnx for that stacey

[Laura]

hay Aaron,
it may not have seemed a big deal to you, but sometimes things are taken the wrong way by different people.
because you cant see the person you are talking to, you dont know the expression that they want to give off.
next time you might want to say something to a person face to face if it is a bit more personal.
i hope you understand what im trying to say
laura